Slow Style Home

The Nurturing Home With Nikki Klugh

March 06, 2023 Zandra Zuraw, Nikki Klugh Season 26
Slow Style Home
The Nurturing Home With Nikki Klugh
Show Notes Transcript

My guest today is designer Nikki Klugh, whose approach is centered around the idea of creating sacred spaces. We talk about what that looks like in design terms and why activating all of your senses in your sacred space is so transformative. Since Nikki is a mom of four, I had to ask her some questions related to living with kids while also creating beautiful homes, and she had a lot to share on that as well. Overall, Nikki is simply a warm, welcoming, nurturing human being whom I want to get to know better and whom I’m happy to share with you. Here’s Nikki.

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Hello, this is the Style Matters podcast brought to you by Little Yellow Couch. I'm Zandra, your host, creator of the Slow Style approach to uncovering and implementing your signature style, one that represents who you are and actively helps you become who you want to be. This show isn't about hacking the latest trends or coming up with design rules you aren't allowed to break. Instead, my aim is to talk with the most thoughtful designers about their process of creating beauty, how they make their choices, and what makes a room really work, and about the substantive reasons about why developing one style or aesthetic really matters. If you're ready to make your home a meaningful place to be, you are in the right place. I am so glad you're here. My guest today is designer Nikki Klug, whose approach is centered around the idea of creating sacred spaces. We talk about what this looks like in design terms and the reason why activating all of our senses in your sacred space is so transformative. Since Nikki is a mom of four, I also had to ask her some questions related to living with kids while also creating beautiful homes, and she had a lot to share on that as well. Overall, Nikki is simply a warm, welcoming, nurturing human being whom I want to get to know better and I'm happy to share with you. Here's Nikki. Nikki Klug, welcome to the Style Matters podcast. We're going to have a great conversation. Oh my gosh, Sandra, thank you so much for having me. Yes, I'm really looking forward to this and I want to start right away with some maybe some deep stuff because I want to talk about your background a little bit and what brought you into interior design. I understand if I read everything correctly about you that when you were a kid, there was some stuff going on in your life and you sort of intuitively knew that you needed to create a refuge for yourself. Do you mind talking about that? Yeah. So, right, I grew up in Houston, Texas and was the daughter of a mom who worked at a company in oil industry and was really just part of integration. She went to high school at Walter Pye, was the first class to be integrated there. Wow. And being able as a manager in this oil, like good old oil company, was very challenging and difficult for her. So we kind of merged in the sense that I didn't have a ton of friends at school. It was kind of a duckling and weekends were our time together to create and make beautiful spaces and sew draperies, paint walls, hang light fixtures. We learned how to install crown molding. Oh my gosh. We did all these weekend warrior projects together before that was even a thing. And so home was always my safe space, no matter what was going on in the outside world, whether it was bullying or teasing or whatever. This home was always safe and I feel like just recently have I put the two together that my mom was likely experiencing some of the same things and being a mom myself now. We are people too. Right. Right. Right. Just like looking at my journey and seeing the connections of how that transformation just brings so much beauty and joy, but it's also our safe space. I was going to say it sounds like your mom needed a safe refuge as well for what she was likely going through. Right. Right. And again, just those things have become recently in my awareness. And I just think it's so cool because I've always said my mom is my muse, but didn't realize how much alike we were. Well, and we're going to talk about that. We're going to talk about you being a mom and what that means from a design perspective, but we're also going to talk a lot about sacred spaces and kind of where you are today. That was back when you were a kid. And like I said, it was intuitive to you that you knew you needed that kind of space around you that was healing or supportive. You probably didn't even have language for it then, but you definitely have language now. So you talk about sacred spaces as needing to be transformative and nurturing. And what I love about that word that you use, transformative, is that it's active. We talk a lot now. It's kind of a thing to say, oh, I need a sanctuary. Right. And you see all these like, I need to be cozy. I need to be comfortable. But those feel kind of passive to me. The word transformation feels very active. And I'm wondering if you can give an example of how our environments can actually help us transform. Yeah. Yeah, of course. So you're right in that a comfy space, that's a good definition, but it means so many different things to everyone else. Right. General term. Yes, too general. Yeah. So what I have discovered and even developed for myself and my clients over the years is designing to your senses. So pinpointing on how we experience the world and everyone again is different. So I would say 80% of the population is going to experience the world around them in a visual way. But then the other categories play a really strong second fiddle, whether it's oratory, whether they're hearing sounds and that stands out more for them than their olfactory, which is smell. Or is it a visual texture or actual physical texture is how some people experience the world. They're very kinetic. They need to learn by doing. They need to touch things in order to connect with them. And all of us have these different pathways that again, play up for ourselves differently than the people around us. So we kind of focus in on that and creating spaces that people can relate to and connect with in those regards. Now whether or not someone who wants a cozy space, if they are very kinetic person, very tactile person, they're going to appreciate potentially a deep, fuzzy, comfy throw. Someone else may say, oh, that's nice, but that's tickly. I'd rather have a knitted throw that has like deep texture. So we delve into that and discover how can we manipulate the spaces around us to create this container, this cocoon, to bring about the emotion or even the task that needs to happen in that space. Right. I mean, I can see even someone saying silk. Silk is what feels cozy to me, like a gorgeous silk pillowcase with silk sheets, which is a very different texture than nubby or fuzzy or whatever. Yeah. Or woven cotton. So someone that would prefer the long john material. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. Right. The stretchy fuzzy cotton sheets. That person that likes those cotton sheets might be like, oh, satin or silk, I feel like I'm going to slide out the bed. Exactly. Or get sweaty. Yeah. Yeah. So we ask this series of questions and really get into the head and the heart of our clients by understanding how they experience the world and how we can use that to create the sensory input and look at the things that are happening in that room. That's part of why we say sacred spaces because sacred means set aside for a special purpose. So if you're in your bedroom and that's all about connecting with your partner or resting, but not working, not paying bills, hopefully. I'm watching TV with the harsh lights on. Right. Yeah. Right. Then setting up that space that's really conducive to that task or purpose. So you're saying that when you activate all the senses and you pay attention to them and then your client or yourself, if you're doing it for yourself, experiences it, it changes something. That's where the action comes in. Right. That it's, I do think that, well, you said experience. I mean, it's about the experiential quality of the rooms you're creating. Of the rooms you're creating. And then that starts translating into your mood and how you perform and how you connect with yourself, with your children, with your partner, with the other members of your home. So eliminating as many of those things that we tolerate. It could be as simple and easy as a squeaky door. Right. Oh, right. Yeah. But not only finding the things that you tolerate, but what are the things that really stimulate you in a positive way and then incorporating those things? And that's where the action comes in. So identifying and then incorporating so that it sets you up for your best self. Yes. You know, along these same lines, a few years ago, I saw that you created a five day challenge where people could participate in lessons, you know, over five days with you, where they created a money space, which sounds very active. And I think you've done a blog post about this too, about your home office and, you know, tell us, tell us what that is. How did that start? What do people learn? Oh my gosh. It's years. It's like, it feels like light years away when I had this experience of starting all over in a brand new city. My husband was in the Navy and we moved to San Diego, California. It was also during the recession of 2008, 2009. And so I really felt helpless and a little bit lost of how I was going to start getting new clients. But slowly and surely I did. And I set up a home office. I remember having this client meeting. It was a new appointment, a potential new client. And I was just so frazzled. I was, you know, hurrying to get there. I was really disorganized, just kind of running through what I needed to do in my head, but just did not feel secure and set. Right. And what my mission was and what I was going to accomplish and that, and confident that I would get to accomplish it, even though it meant so, so much to me in that moment to try to get my business really going again. So what I discovered is that, you know, clutter plays such, it drains us so much. That was part of my problem. I was newly in that home, starting to set up an office, but not really set up yet. Right. And having my own, I was my own best client, my own personal project things just kind of around and the more I got my office together, the more I, everything had a home. It looked great. It represented who I was. It represented the goals I had. I could see my goals on the wall. I knew what I was marching towards. I had these various different elements and this was before I discovered, you know, designing to your senses, but it, you know, played a part in that whole journey. These different ways of experience, the world were in front of me in my office to the degree that I became more competent. I became more sure I was more prepared. I felt more like a boss, like, yeah, we're like a company owner, right? Just the transformation between a really cluttered secondary, you know, second thought room to my home office, where I operate from. And then as I discovered the senses, I could see, oh, that goal in front of me, that was a visual cue every day when I felt like giving up to say, no, these are my goals. This is what I'm marching towards. I can do this, get back on track. That develops into creating images, not just the numbers, because yeah, we might have a financial goal, but really what's behind that financial goal? Like the dollars themselves are not really keeping you motivated and driven. It's what those dollars may produce for your family or for yourself. And so then I started connecting, okay, I want one of our sons, you know, I want all of our sons, but in my particular case, I was able to accomplish paying for one of our son's college education. That was something for me that was kind of a, it was a stretch for my mom, the pressure and the stress that she was experiencing to the degree. And I was like, you know what? I will just, I will take the easier route. I'll go to a service academy, which is where I met my husband. So it all worked out. Right, right. But I just made that promise to myself that I don't want my kids to feel like they're choosing something other than what they really, really wanted. Wow. I want them to have the freedom to go to any school that they want to go to. Right. So that was a really big and tangible and it had a visceral effect on me, you know, motivational. That's, you know, our kids are everything, right? So yeah, you're, you're really driven by that. I can see that. I had a silhouette of a young man with a graduation cap on, and that was one of the five images directly across from my desk in my home office. And I can tell you that every single one of those five things from when I first discovered Money Space has since happened. Wow. And it's just, it's like, oh my gosh, that's like manifestation in progress, in, in motion. Yeah. And it's like interior design. Yes. Yes. I love it. I love it. And, and that's such a great example of, of our room being transformational, right? It's that, that very active, you know, you were pursuing something very actively, passionately. You weren't just kind of sitting back waiting for it to happen. And your space was encouraging that and supporting it. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. Well, let's talk about those boys. I think you have four of them, right? I only have two, so I'm going, oh my gosh, four. Okay. So we're going to take a little bit of a detour here and just say, what, what advice do you have? I mean, for parents who are raising kids, any number of kids, I mean, I mean, it all changes depending on how old your kids are, right? But you know, what, give us some mom advice here from a design perspective. So one of the things as a Navy family, I always, always was sure to do is to set their spaces up first to help them get acclimated to the new environment and having four, they were like their own play groups. So the friends came later and mom groups and things like that, but it really was about helping them feel at home. And so helping, allowing them to help with design ideas, like decorating ideas. What are, what's their current favorite thing? How can we, you know, infuse their rooms with those things that they love, setting really good boundaries between each other, between them, but then also between us as parents, we would, you know, for our room, it was a not before you enter space. And even now we, you know, suggest to clients that family photos stay in public spaces in your own private space. That's all about, you know, rest and romance and how can we do more of that? Oftentimes that means eliminating photos of the kids. Yeah, that makes sense. That can be a point of stress sometimes, you know? Right. So, so, but for them, it really was about helping them connect with the home and be a part of the decorating and they were, you know, first step whenever we moved to get their spaces done. Yeah. And did they, did they share rooms? Was it different depending on the house that you were in? I mean, how do you do, my boys have always shared a room and sometimes they hate it. But, but on the other hand, I feel like while they're also learning some great lessons in sharing and just dealing with another human being, my oldest is now 20. And he said, he, he's the other day is like, I have never, I've always had a roommate, you know, I still have a roommate in college. I'm probably going to have a roommate after I get my first job because I won't be able to afford to live in the city without one. And you know, it kind of just hit him. I grew up as an only child. So, yeah. So making my kids share a room, you know, sometimes they tease me like, Oh, you don't know anything about it. Right. You never had to do it. But anyway, so what about you? Like what, what suggestions for, for when they have to share or, or do you, would you, do you really think it's important to try to give them their own spaces? I don't, I don't, I don't think that's realistic for everyone. And again, they're like you said, there's so many life lessons that can be learned there. We had different combinations just depending on their ages, you know, four and six years. So sometimes it makes sense for the older two and the younger two to be together. Sometimes the oldest had his own space in the middle two or together in one home, the youngest two were together and the older two boys had their own space. So it's just very, just because you moved a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Circumstance and the age ranges, you know, the ages at that moment. Right. But one thing that we did, I felt was successful was, you know, again, helping them create their boundaries by color coding. So each child had their own set of color for towels. Okay. And even brush and even socks. We had socks that had these lines across the toes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. So someone had two lines, someone else had one line or whatever. And we would just buy a bunch of the same socks for that one person. And that was, you know, so we could always know whose socks were whose. Right. Right. Just different little coding things to help them have ownership of their own things. again have a sense of self while still needing to share with others. What do you say to parents who say, I get this a lot and it makes me so sad, I can't have nice things until my kids are older. My home is going to be a mess. My home's not going to be sacred because I have kids. Yeah, yeah, I totally get that. I was, I kind of took the opposite approach. I felt like, yes, you know, they may scratch something and they have. They may break a face, you know, but if they're not around nice things, how are they going to learn how to be around nice things? And so that was our approach. We, I think the youngest was, gosh, he was a baby when we furnished our first home. And that actually like, you know, really got me going down the direction of interior design as a, you know, locked in profession. When we designed our first home, gosh, brings back such great memories, but we bought even Allen furniture, which was the thing. Right. I remember, yes. And had custom draperies done and had really, you know, really nice home. Now I did have to get a repair done on a dining table when someone took, I don't think it was, it wasn't, it felt like it was an exacto knife, but I think it was just a regular butter knife. But it felt like, but then that's when I met my furniture repair guy. Right. And then a beautiful relationship was born. Exactly. So, but I would say overall, I mean, we still have furnishings 20 years later that we had in that first home. And in great condition, we brought good quality things that could be used over and over again, even through Navy moves. They held up. And so I felt like it was a great investment and a good way to teach our sons to appreciate nice things. Yes, absolutely. That's such a good point. Before we continue with the conversation, I want to introduce you to my slow style approach to creating a home you love. Slow style is a step by step framework that puts you at the front and center of your home, rather than products, trends, and other people's ideas of what beauty looks like. To get started, I've created a new worksheet called Dream Home. Action Plan. And it's all about adjusting your mindset about what you really want from your home and what you want to experience inside it. Because I believe everyone deserves to live inside beauty right now, not someday when you can afford all the bells and whistles that you see on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. I'm dating myself. Does anyone remember that show? Anyway, I'm going to start with a little bit of a quick little story about Dream Home. At this point I don't remember that show, that Emmeridge investigation. Oh looksss! We got ourselves coconuts. We got ourselves Junior Fest, we've got a mini pot there on portal d and Rap Sally held me affordable, so we are going to get the perfect webinar toeat and a hot bondllrake and be famous! I'm dating myself. Does anyone remember Then I'll jump in your inbox and we can start a conversation about your dream home. Again, that's littleyellowcouch.com. Okay, let's get back to the episode. I would love to know, kind of big picture now, how you have witnessed some cultural shifts and attitudes towards our homes and the industry over the years. So, you know, I think that this is coming to mind, of course, because we're coming out of the pandemic and I don't think it's any secret that home became this big cultural discussion because everybody had to stay at home. So everybody was doing projects and they were going to Home Depot or they were, you know, all of a sudden they're looking around going, oh my gosh, my home is not doing anything for me and now I need to make it look better. But I think shifts like that are attitudes toward home. I mean, I think those have been happening for centuries. I mean, you think about moms and how they had to spend all their time at home before they were really accepted in the workforce. I mean, you know, the concept of home just has shifted for many, many years. I'm just wondering, what are you seeing? What are your clients? You've been doing this now for a couple of decades. I mean, what do people want now out of their home? How has it changed over the years? What I've witnessed is a shift in the beginning from entertaining at home and having play dates and, you know, neighbors come over for coffee to meeting up at Starbucks or, you know, the coffee bean or Panera Bread. Like that, you know, became the public library, if you will, where people wouldn't meet so much in their homes anymore. And I don't know exactly why. I was busy raising my children. Maybe it's easier, you know, to meet somewhere public and not have to worry about tidying up. I don't know if that was, you know, the impetus to that. But as a result of COVID, I did predict and have seen it happen more where people do want to turn inward. They do want to have more things at home with a smaller group of friends. Yes, they've taken the time and made the effort and invested to make their homes really represent who they are and make it nicer and something that they're proud of to welcome people into. So I hope that that becomes the trend and that we will turn back to having more intimate spaces and really connecting in a way that is more intimate than you can do, say, in a Panera Bread or a Starbucks. Do you think that it's gone from more, you know, status symbol, like showing off, here's my beautiful home, toward come into my sacred space? I mean, both are beautiful, but there's a different motivation there. Yes, I hope that's where we're going. Do you do you think we are? People that we work with definitely want to feel at home. They definitely want to have their values expressed, their interest, you know, apparent and conversational pieces for when they entertain, but not as a means of showing off, but as a means of connecting and getting to know others better and allowing people in to know them better. So maybe it's our messaging because we talk about sacred spaces and we talk about spaces that support who you are and help you become a better you, that's who we attract. But I'm happy to say that we love getting into that zone with them and really digging in because some people don't take the time. They work in their own businesses and they really don't plug into what's super important to them that they would want to share with others. So I have one client, I'm always needling him to support projects together. And yeah, he let go of a piece of him that he shared with me that we were able to incorporate into his home office this time around. So that was really cool. That is cool. I've noticed you use the word connect a lot and making connections and I know you mean deep connections between between people. One of the things I'm wondering if you have any suggestions on how to help foster meaningful conversations in our homes. Are there things that you're seeing in floor layouts or in choice of furniture or orientation or focal point or whatever that encourages those kinds of connections or maybe discourages the kinds of connections? Yeah. So one of the things that we are careful to incorporate is usable spaces, spaces like furniture that is fabric protection, you know, that is durable if as much as possible, we will even use what most would use for outdoor fabric. We'll use that inside because the hand to that fabric that hundred percent solution dot yarn has a nicer hand now and actually can be used indoors. It's so easy to clean. So moms can just like totally relax with that on their dining chairs if that's the key mission and know that it will be easy to clean. They don't have to be so stressed around their little ones. Yeah. And that just takes the pressure off. I think that having spaces where we can be human, you know, that's this will happen. Wine will spill toddler hands will tell things just helps us be more ease and grace and peace, which allows the connection to come in, which allows relationships to have more space to grow and not be so uptight about having everything perfectly laid out and done. Right. And like you said, I think some of the fabrics now they are equally beautiful and durable. You know, they're not just durable in an ugly way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's awesome. So let's talk a little bit more about the design industry itself and how it's been changing. You know, we're a couple of years out from the beginning of Black Lives Matter, the movement that that we saw get a lot of attention. And as someone myself who's in the design industry, you know, I have to wonder, there's all the support, all this attention. And it is dissipated as big movements do. But but but are you sensing that we've still made some progress or has it dissipated? Oh, my gosh, now we've forgotten all about it and we need to, you know, not forget about it. And, you know, what what's going on with that from your perspective as a designer in this industry? I feel that there definitely are good progress, good pathways that have been formed and will last. There's a group called the Kaleidoscope Project. I know it well. Yeah, wonderful. Yes. And they're a very good team and they're on their second round now with some new, fresh designers. And I love seeing how they're incorporating us all because African-Americans, Latinos, we do have such a smaller percentage of the design population. There is also, though, the economical reasons for it. So many times as a residential designer, it really is about who you know and who you come in contact with and who you can relate to. And people of great wealth or, you know, that number is smaller for African-Americans. So I personally, because I've lived in larger metropolitan areas and I just have an outgoing personality and love people in general, regardless, have learned to work with different nationalities and learn. And I actually appreciate when I get to learn about a new culture or tradition, even within, say, a larger segment of an Indian population. I have a few Indian clients. And so this one family we've been working with throughout the whole pandemic and now we're in our last room together. I think they're going to find another project for me, though. I get to learn about the things that are important to them and the treasures that her mom has passed down and what she wants to make sure that her daughter experiences. And so I love learning about different cultures. I have just taken it as, you know, who I am. I can be a chameleon. I can fit in any space. And I take that as a tool. It's something that I had to learn out of necessity, but something that I treasure now. So the Kaleidoscope project is a really good representation of something that will outlast the crisis. This batch guild that will not let that torch die. They are very active in getting Black creators and makers out in the public eye, connected to potential hotel projects, connected with even Pottery Barn or anthropology. We do collaborations with the intent of bringing more awareness to the talents, to the great talents of the African-American design population. I didn't realize you were so involved in those projects. So that's really great to hear. So I want to make sure we link to them in the show notes page. Oh, yeah, that would be awesome. Are there any projects in particular that you off the top of your head that you are particularly excited about or proud of? So we did the Obsidian project in the middle of the pandemic where we re-imagined what an African-American home would look like in the future. And so taking into account the newness of sterilization and cleanliness and coming in from the outside world and wanting to leave all of that out there and coming into your sacred space. So that was really cool to imagine different transition zones and pods that family members could be cared for if they were sick or how to rinse the world away or how to entertain again in a smaller, more cozy, inviting, intimate environment. So that was a really fun project to be a part of because there were no limits. It was all digital. Architects were involved, again, makers. We got to use their products that maybe our clients can't afford yet, but we would love to partake in. So that was a really, really cool project to be a part of in 2021. That is really, really neat. Well, we'll definitely link to all of that. That's great. I love learning about new initiatives and digging into them. So that's exciting. Nikki, we're going to wrap up with my signature question, which is, why does style matter? Gosh, the human experience, something that has become more and more in demand is such an individual one. And we all come from such backgrounds that overlap in ways and are completely opposite in other ways. And so that individual person is able to express themselves through style, through what they value, what excites them, how they see the world, what's their perspective and viewpoint. And so style in your home or in your fashion, even your style of writing or showing up on social media really can allow people to get to know you better, to understand you, to love you and connect. And I think that style is one of those things that attracts that like-minded person to you so that community can be formed. Oh, that's so true. And such an interesting way to think about style is sort of the medium through which we communicate and share ourselves. And right, the human experience is sacred and we need sacred spaces in our homes to nurture that human, all of us. Well, thank you so much. This has been a really wonderful conversation. And I think some of the keywords that I'm taking away are connectivity, sacred spaces. But just those three alone are quite powerful. So thank you for giving us all of that to think about. Thank you, Xander. This has been really fun. Great. Thanks so much for spending time with me today. If you've gotten something out of this episode, please be so kind as to leave a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you're listening from. It really does help this show stay on the air. And also don't forget to grab our free guide, the Dream Home Action Plan at littleyellowcouch.com. And also that's where you can find the show notes pages for all of these episodes with photos and links to things that we've been talking about. Have a great week. Bye for now.